I know you might think that because I gave up my silence vow on Twitter in the beginning of this Lent, I’ve also given up my meditative assignment, but I haven’t. A date comes closer which marks a very important moment in my life. It’s nothing I want to discuss in public, but that’s the reason why (and not deep religious conviction) I took this Lent as occasion to remember, reflect, and heal myself if possible.
As I grow older I find out that the questions I ask myself now are not much different than the questions I asked myself when I was sixteen, and that even the ones I thought I had found answers for, mockingly reform themselves behind question marks again. I guess the same questions will occupy my mind forty years later as well, if I’m lucky/ unlucky enough to live that long. It is obviously the answers to these questions which change with time.
It occurred to me that many of you might be dealing with the same questions and that it would do me, and maybe my handful readers too, good, if I’d wrote down for all of us these questions here. Then, my thought moved one step beyond that: What if I’d start my own private survey? Ask you to answer these questions? You wouldn’t have to answer all of them. Just the ones you feel you have an answer for, at this phase of your life. Your answers would certainly help me to sort my thoughts and this post would form a little worship/ meditation place for this Lent.
I decided to give it a try, although this blog has not so many readers, and Lent is almost over (one extra week if we followed the Orthodox calendar). But Lent is just the inducement, as I explained, and so there is plenty of time for you to answer if you’d liked. And even if one of you takes the trouble to answer, I’d be grateful and touched. I, myself, won’t answer, so don’t be disappointed. Not because I don’t want to share my opinions, but because I’m in a transitional state of mind. But in sharing the questions occupying my mind, I do share a piece of me with you, too.
Please, even if you’re regular readers and we know each other, feel free to answer anonymously, although, as you will see the questions are personal, but more of philosophical nature than of a private one, and so you might decide to use your online name nevertheless. Do as you feel confortable to do. Just try to be honsest with yourselves when answering.
This is also not to open a personal discussion with each one of you. This is something like writing lists and comparing them with lists other people wrote. Lending and borrowing ideas in this Lent tank. A chance for each one of us to sort his/her thoughts. The only private question which you should answer if you don’t mind, is your age. It helps me and the other readers to reflect on our own progress in answering these questions.
And try to keep all answers as short as possible. This is also not an academical discourse. No essays, please.
Thank you and here we go:
0. How old are you?
1. Why do you believe in God? /Why don’t you believe in God? / Why don’t you care about God?
2. Do you still want to change the world, and if yes, what do you do to achieve it?
3. Do you love enough? Do you feel really loved? How do you define this “enough” and “really” in this context? (Don’t exchange position of enough and really in these questions.)
4. Do you know your biggest weakness of character? Have you accepted it, or are you working on improving it?
5. Do you say “thank you” and mean it?
6. Do you say “I’m sorry” and mean it? Do you recognise your agency on other peoples’ lives?
7. Do you forgive, and what does it take for you to forgive?
8. What does really give you the power to go on with this life?
9. Do you feel as free as you’d like? Do you take steps to more freedom? How do you define *your* freedom?